Halloween Horror Nights, Summerween, and Final Girls Who Don't Scare Easily

Like you can haul me anytime you want. I don't want to brag, but I did get a blowjob. A Halloween horror nights one year. It was from a dead clown. No, let me explain. Yes, it is. So it's the dead clowns, and they're all trying to get you, right? But there was this one dead clown girl who was just determined and kept following me. And I kept kind of turning to acknowledge her and give her a nod, like, hey, you look great, just to kind of let her know, like, hey, I appreciate you, but I don't want to waste your time. Like, go get someone else. And she kept coming and following. And I was just like, okay, like I this is the third time I've seen you. Hey, girl. Like I tried to do the wave, like, you look great. And then she came up when I had like turned my head, was looking, came up and like blue on the back of my neck, like really blue. And which is that's weird. I don't think they're supposed to get that close to you. No. Is this like post-COVID? Because ew. You know what? I think it was before. Okay. Still, ew. Yeah, but ew. So that kind of irritated me. So I turned around and I said, nice blowjob. Thanks, girl. And Sheik was like, oh my God, a blowjob? Really? Ugh. And I'm like, wow, that dead clown got real valley, girl, real fast. That was the only time where I felt a little like you've gotta move on. But reversely, there was another guy who in the main walkway, when you first come through the gates and there's all the fire blowing and like the clowns with chainsaws, scare zone. So this one guy kept trying to get me a couple of times and it just didn't work. But I kept acknowledging him, like, dude, you look great. Like that was good. Sorry, I'm kind of a dick. You're not gonna get me. And he got me so good, I thanked him. I was like, oh, thank you, sir. No one's been able to do that. You're literally the only one to have ever legit got me. And he nodded like he was very happy, and it made up for the whole blowjob thing, honestly.

Sometimes a man being nice makes up for a shitty blowjob from a dead clown.

Welcome to Horner The Podcast.

Holy crap, we're back. We said we'll be right back, and we actually were right back. It's because we're final girls. That's how that works. That's the rules. I really like the Jason house too. I thought that was an underrated. Underrated.

Like, that's so fun. I was on board for that.

Oh, a hundred percent. I'm just sad that we had a Jason Universe maze, but no Jason in space.

Yeah, they missed that. They missed a big opportunity on that. Yeah.

Like, how do you have Jason Universe but no Jason in space?

Right. I think the hardcore fans would have lost their minds over that, would have gotten really excited. We would have, obviously.

Oh, a hundred percent. I don't know if you do this when you go through mazes, but like I usually end up either being in the front or I end up at the very back. Rarely ever am I in the middle.

Yeah.

For whatever reason. So I tend to, because like they kind of have like a congo line, like a cha-cha line going through these things. You end up at the back where the actor resets and they do all of that. So they're trying to get me because I'm little and I'm at the end, and it just doesn't like it rarely ever works. I got spooked one time on the poltergeist maze because like they were right here in like my pariff, and it was when they were all in the coffins at the end. One of them got me and I was like, That was a good one. That was good. I was like, that was good. And the other ones tried, and I was like, Your friend already got me, it's not gonna work. Yeah.

Oh, I love it when they get you. Oh, I love it. It's also cool every night. Right. And it's also cool when every now and then you know one of the scare actors, and like they know that you're coming, and so they're kind of like looking for you. That's happened a couple times. The one time was when was it it was one of the Halloween mazes, and this was a few years ago with my friend Jay Washington, very funny comic. We went and he was buddies with one of the Michaels, and he happened to be like legit the biggest Michael in the entire maze. I mean, this dude must have been six foot six, he was huge, and yeah, and he told us, okay, I'm in like the living room, uh, you know, I'm in this area. And so we kind of realized that that was him. And when he saw us, like he came out us extra hard, was doing all this extra cool stuff, and then followed us to the next room. It was like, it felt like we were actually being followed by Michael Myers for a second. It was really fun. So props to that guy. And then also, there was one time at Rain of Terror, I think it was maybe it was a friend of Jeff Heimbuck who does Bury Under Your Bed, who's like a family. Me and Jeff text each other all the time, like just because we're both like doing spooky stuff and we're both like, you know, on the entertainment side of it. So we were like each other's rock, just like I have time. But now that it's over, we're like, I miss it. But I think he had a friend that was working in Reign of Terror, and he wouldn't tell us what part he was doing. All he said was, look for a cage, and we're like, what the fuck does that mean? And then we were like towards the end of the maze, I had kind of forgotten by then. And we walk into this room, and there's just like these kind of cages in the middle of it, and we're like, do, do, do, and he flew like a bat out of hell as a zombie into this cage and just like banged on it so hard. He got us. It was so fun. We're like, oh, a cage. It would like it all clicked and came together, and it felt like this really cool moment of, oh, buddy, you got us. Good job. It's pretty cool. Oh, that's great. That's great.

Okay, okay. Girl to girl. Yeah. Do you ever flirt with them when you're going through the mazes?

To try to get them to scare me more? Or for whatever purposes you have in mind. I'm a taken woman now. Um, but maybe previously, possibly. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, sure. But also, I think sometime it well, if I don't know, if you thought he was cute under the mask or you just thought he was doing a really good job. But I think I, because I feel really guilty that they can't get me, like sometimes I'll try to be overly nice or like overly like, oh my god, you look so good. And it might come off as flirting because I'm just like trying to make myself feel less guilty for not being scared by them. So maybe that came off as flirting. Um, but yeah, I mean, I think back in the day, certainly there were certain scare actors that you'd be like, I want to see what's under there. Sure.

Yeah. There was a couple years ago at the haunted hayride, I was there with one of my friends, and we were, hi Vanessa, if you're listening to this, which you probably are. And we were in the dark waiting to go in the lines where they have you line up to get on the little tractor. And we were in the dark, and one of the actors tried to get me, and he whispered in my ear and just went, Hey. Ooh. And I I just kind of like, and it was all dark, but he was right there. And I just went, Okay, are you trying to scare me or are you trying to take me home? What's happening? Both like it just like it gave me chills, and I was like, Oh, am I into this? What's happening right now? That was really weird. And I don't know. That was a weird moment.

You were into it. I'm just gonna go ahead and put that up. Oh well, everybody's learning something new about me tonight. There's nothing wrong with that. If you're into it, you're into it, you know.

You wouldn't understand whatever, fine. I'll just play on my phone then.

TikTok, it is. So I do have my own website, the magicoilbox.com.

The magic oil box? Sounds interesting. The magicoilbox.com. Oh my god. They have my chemical romance themed items? Three cheers for sweet patchouli hand sanitizer for grounding, inner peace, and heartwormth. Add to cart. Ooh, the I don't clove you rollerblend? Huh. Clever. For letting go, boundary setting, bold transformation, because not every flame deserves to be rekindled. Should I send this to my ex who keeps texting me? Add to cart. The Lavender Parade Shower Steamer. Cool. For rest, emotional restoration, soft resilience. Add to cart. Oh, there's a coupon code for horror nerds listeners. S-L-A-Y-N-E-R-D-S 15. Slay Nerds 15 for 15% off. Cool. Now Mom and Dad definitely won't be mad at me. Check out Would you turn that off? Shop the Ghoul's Day Out collection from the Magic Oil Box because it's not a phase. We like what we like, but when I'm stuck in the back of being in one of the mazes and the conga line or whatever, and they have to reset, I just kind of look at the actors and I go like, Hi. And I got one of the the Jasons to go like, hi. Oh, that's because he realized he couldn't scare me. So whenever they do that, I just go, Oh, that's adorable. And then they go like, Oh, I love that. Yeah. It's cute. And uh a couple times with so that in the Jason universe, because it was so backed up, and you know, they were trying to get people through, but people were scared, and so they kind of saw like they're not gonna get me. So they were in the dark, and I just like, hi, like waving at them. There was one, Jason. If you're listening to this, just no, you were my favorite one. And then there was a moment in the terrifier maze with art inside of like the little food truck, like the little truck, and he was back there too, and I was like, Hi, I love you, and he just went, Oh. And it was, it was really we had a moment, it was really cute. I guess I'm just being like friendly, and I like wave to them. I'm like, oh hi.

Yeah, well, you also have really good, friendly energy, and it doesn't hurt that you're hot. So, you know, that helps. Oh, thanks. Thanks. Your checks in the mail, baby. I don't want to brag, but I did get a blowjob. Oh, I did. I did a Halloween horror night one year. Wow. So it was from a dead clown. No, let me explain. Yes, it is. So I was going down one of the scare zones, which it's not a maze, it's just a zone, like a themed kind of walkway street where there's like, you know, there's dead clowns here, there's creepy kids here, whatever it is. And so it was as you do, as you do. So it's the dead clowns, and they're all trying to get you, right? But there was this one girl, this one dead clown girl who was just determined and kept following me. And I kept kind of turning to acknowledge her and give her a nod, like, hey, you look great, or like, cool, just to kind of let her know, like, hey, I appreciate you, but I don't want to waste your time. Like, go get someone else. And she kept coming and following, and I was just like, Okay, like I this is the third time I've seen you. Hey, girl, like I tried to do the wave, like, you look great. And then she came up when I had like kind of turned my head, was looking, came up and like blue on the back of my neck, like really blue, and which is that's weird. You're not really supposed to do that. I don't think they're supposed to get that close to you or like do that. Oh, which is this like post-COVID? Cause ew. You know what? I think it was before, actually. Okay, before it still is. It was a while ago. Yeah, but ew. So that kind of irritated me a little bit. And I kind of was like, girl, just you gotta move on. So I turned around and I said, nice blowjob. Thanks so much, thanks, girl. And she completely broke characters, like, oh my god, a blowjob, really? Ugh, and walked off. And I'm like, wow, that dead clown got real valley girl real fast. That was the only kind of time where I felt a little like, you've gotta move on. Like, I'm trying to be nice to you. You're it's not gonna happen. Move on. But reversely, I don't know if it was the same year or not, but there was another guy who kind of like in the main walkway when you first come through the gates and there's all the fire blowing, and like, you know, it's usually like the clowns with chainsaw, scare zone. Anyway, so this one guy kept trying to get me a couple of times and it just didn't work. But I kept acknowledging him, like, dude, you look great. Like, that was good. Sorry, I'm I'm kind of a dick, you're not gonna get me. But he kind of like hung out in the area, and then I wound up like just kind of looking at something, coming back, and just kind of forgot about him. And then I went up, you know where they have like the big board with all the wait times on it. And so I was looking at the wait times, looking at the map. I was deep in thought, trying to figure out how to do my plan of attack, where I'm gonna go. And he like came up from behind the board, up around, and got in my face out of nowhere, and he totally got me. And he got me so good, I thanked him. I was like, oh, thank you, sir. No one's been able to do that. You're literally the only one to have ever legit got me. And he nodded like he was very happy, and I was very happy, and it made up for the whole blowjob thing, honestly.

Sometimes a man being nice makes up for a shitty blowjob from a dad. Oh no, yeah.

And that is a soundbite right there. That's a soundbite. A sound blow.

Oh, that's great. A sound blue. Oh, it blew me away. Yeah, it's those are so it's so funny when you go with people who are super, super scared because then you're that one that's not. And then it's like people want to test to see how scared you actually get. They're like, oh, you don't get scared. Let me see. Let me see you not get scared. And so they won't tell you if somebody's sneaking up on you. And that happened to me last year at the haunted hayride. I went with a friend who was terrified. All we did was go on the hayride because she was so scared. And she's like, I want to see how scared you actually get. And this one, like dead, again, what is with the dead clowns? This dead clown cheerleader comes up and she's like, Hi. I was like, Hi. What's up? Like, hey, you look great. I'm glad the underworld is treating you well. And my friend said, Oh, I wanted to see how scared you got. So I didn't tell you that she was behind you. And I just went, Okay. But then on the hay ride, she was so scared the entire time. And I was like, okay, there's one coming up. There's one over there. You're gonna be okay. Like I was giggling and laughing the whole time on the hayride. I was like, oh, they're coming.

Like so scared. And I like the hayride. It feels like the most kind of I don't want to say homegrown because it's very well done, but it just feels like, okay, this is like a old school. This is like Griffith Park, it's in a park. It just, there's a nostalgic element to it. Oh, yeah. Um, the actors have a lot of fun with it. I recognize a lot of them every year. Um, like there's this one, uh, what is he, like a dead football player or something? And he's just hilarious. I always try to go talk to him. He's funny. You know, it's it's not huge, right? It's not like Halloween horror nights, but it feels very like it has its own vibe and energy. It doesn't feel cookie-cutter. It feels like its own experience, which I really like. And the hayride is just so cute. I mean, how often do you actually get to go on a hayride? And they did some really cool shit this year on the hayride part, actually. They did, yeah, some really cool effects and scenes, and yeah, it was good. I I really liked it.

I did too. I really liked it. And I love that they've built it into this village and it's this town, and Elvira moved in this year. So you know, and they have the entertainer who's hilarious, and Elvira had a home, and then I love that they had the scary go-round. Yeah, like her dog.

Yeah, gonk.

Yeah, the gonk. Yeah, yeah. That was so I thought that was really well done, and you could hear her voice, and I knew people that worked on that too, and I thought that was just it. You're right, it has that nostalgic feel, and it feels like something from when we were kids.

And yet, you know, you're walking through the dirt and there's hay and just cider, and there's the cider donut, and it's kind of like the town, like hocus pocus. It kind of feels a little bit like a Salem vibe to it, maybe a little bit.

A little bit. No, it does. Yeah. A little bit. Yeah. And they get so creative with the hay ride itself. And I love that they added in like the Area 51 containment center. And, you know, there was these kids sitting across from us. Also, I really like my old ass, really like that they actually added seats made out of hay bales instead of sitting on the ground because trying to get up, you're like, oh god, that's arthritis. Scary. That's that's the scary part right there, actually, is trying to get up. Yeah, 100%. But I love that they added the seats for that and the Area 51 part of the hay ride and the fun stuff they added. And there's these kids sitting across from us, they must have been 10 years old, maybe, and they were with their mom and they were screaming the whole time, and then they would get excited, like, oh, they're coming, they're coming. Ah, if it was me and I was one of those scare actors, I would just be like, I would be on them 100%.

Right? I'm gonna show these kids a good time.

Mm-hmm. And they were they were waffling between being so excited. It's that like when you can't stop laughing because you're so scared, but you're also having a great time. It was one of those moments. It was really fun.

Oh, good job.

Great job, team.

Mm-hmm.

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Oh, I will be going to the Sugar and Moon Market at the Lodge in Sierra Madre.

Wow, that's oddly specific. But actually sounds like a lot of fun. What are you doing there?

Okay, so I'm gonna be picking up some sage butter from our friend and sponsor, the Mountain Crone.

Oh, that sounds awesome. Can I come with?

Yadah. I already got you a take it, B. Sweet!

Well, that's kind of spooky. You read my mind. Oh, that's funny. I'm actually gonna see her at Matlow Brewery Company. Whew. Try saying that five times fast. On May 9th to pick up some restock lip balms. Because with all this talking we do, my lips are gonna look like the Criptkeepers if I don't hydrate them.

I like the Cripkeepers lips. Um, hey, can you pick me up on the way over? Yeah, sure. I'll go grab my keys.

I found one of my favorite t-shirts I've ever, ever bought in my entire life at the Haunted Hayride three years ago. And this shirt is made for me, okay? I've never seen a shirt more perfect for me. And here's why. It was in the outpost, like the gift shop, when you're coming in or leaving. Whichever way you're going. And it was the beginning of the night, and I was looking through it, and I saw they had a Vincent Price t-shirt. And I said, Cool. And I looked closer, and it was Vincent Price from my favorite horror movie, which is The Last Man on Earth, but it said Vincent the Vampire Slayer in the Buffy font, and it was him holding the stake from the movie. And I said, I don't care if this shirt is $500. I am buying it because this is Taylor May's. This is so niche. I know. Wow. I have to I I have to see this shirt now. I think I've worn it before. I got it like super big so I could wear it to bed because it's really comfy. And I wore it last year at Midsummer Scream, and it was the shirt I was wearing when I met Victoria Price.

Oh, did she say that when I met his daughter? Did she see it so great? Yeah.

And I told her, I said, you know, it's wild that, you know, I saw her release forms during the spectacular documentary, but I'd never gotten to meet her. And so I told her, I said, this is my favorite horror movie, and I used to watch it every year with my dad, and you know, he's not around anymore. And it's just nice to meet somebody whose dad was such a big part of my life because of my dad. It was a really cool moment. All because of the haunted hayride. I had never seen that shirt in my life. In my freaking life. And it was there that year. And I said, I'm I don't care how much it is, I'm buying it. Sometimes things are just meant to be. Oh, it totally was. Like, who else would they have made that for? It's so niche. Nobody's heard of that movie, except for, you know, weird people like me and you, and not a lot of other people. It's so under the rug and under the radar. People don't realize that it's like the first film adaptation of I Am Legend. People don't know that. And it's Vincent Price, and it's so good. And it really only scared me because I watch it every Halloween. The only time it actually really freaked me out was Halloween 2020 during COVID. Oh, I can see why. Uh-huh. And I watched it and I said, Oh, this is ah, this is scary now.

Too close to reality at the moment. Yeah.

A little bit, yeah. Yeah. But you know, thanks, Haunted Hayride and Victoria Price. And it was wonderful. You're wonderful. So are you, friend? Oh. I know. I was like, are we at time? Oh yeah, we've recorded almost an hour now.

Sorry, Sarah, our wonderful editor. We love you. Have fun with us.

We love you so much. Um, maybe we can do like a an outro and then another intro and then another outro to just to have them in case it ends up being two episodes.

But I feel like that could be a horror film where like the the editor is like, fuck these bitches, and just like takes out the host because Sarah, don't listen. Uh-oh. Can we edit that out before she does it?

Sarah knows where I live, not where you live. So you'll be safe. Yeah. Okay. Come over here then. Oh, that sucks. I kept Sarah in the divorce. Damn it. It'll be fine. But I do like that. That's funny. That's very meta. Maybe we could do something like that. Oh, we can. Yeah, I like that.

As long as she doesn't do something like that.

I guess we'll see. If you don't hear from me tomorrow.

Well, I get I get the shirt then.

Fair. What's Adam gonna do with it? Hold on to it and cry because He misses me. Oh, he would. Okay, but you can have it.

Yeah, but don't you have a serial Michelle Geller cut out? He'll be alright.

Yeah, he'll be alright. I've got a couple Spider-Man shirts. Star Wars. He'll be fine. You get that shirt. Let it be on the record that if our editor murders me, you get my Vincent the Vampire Slayer t-shirt. Because I know you'd appreciate it.

Yeah.

Not that I would take care of it.

Sarah to murder you.

Yeah. If we don't get out of here, Sarah will murder me. So breaking news! This just in. Two clown cars have collided outside of Arts Clown College in Miles County, leaving 53 dead. There was one survivor, we think, a little pale girl who was reportedly seen soon after spewing an unknown black fluid in a local laundromat while playing patty cake and carving her own face off. Sources say she may be a demonic entity possessing the body of Emily Crane, the daughter of two prominent circus performers, whose family also includes a long line of well-respected circus acts and mimes. WSUK reporter Fred Grundelman is live on the scene. Fred, take it away.

Thanks, Tits. I'm here with Dick Johnson, assistant manager of the party city located at the intersection where the accident occurred, and was also the last person to see her alive or not alive. Dick, what'd you see? Kids a weird. There has been some speculation that this was merely a publicity stunt. Organized by Art's Clown College founder Art the Clown in hopes to make the art of clowning more mainstream. One vehicle involved in the fatal crash had the words, quote, Make America clown again, end quote, written along the side, while the other vehicle involved had, quote, We are not going back, comma, unless it's to Art's Clown College, comma, now enrolling, end quote. Dick Johnson, assistant manager of the party city located at the intersection where the accident occurred, believes it was no accident. Yeah, I love clowns, but this guy he hated it. He came into the store the other day and just stared at this balloon, is probably worried about inflation. He didn't say much. But I think he asked to juggle three jobs just to keep that place open. Anyone going to clown school can't be serious. I told the McDonald's is hiring, but the guy who runs it's a real clown. Then he pulled the middle finger out of a trash bag and flipped me off. Fucked up shit, Dick. Back to you, tits.

Thank you, Fred. Art's last name is still unknown, as is the source of his power and how he got them, and why the pale girl could bring him back to life after he shot himself in the head, and why he let the cat lady baby him? And why does he smear his own shit on the wall? Oh, and is he actually Sienna's dad, or was her dad just a psychic? And why did he need to be reborn if he can heal himself from any wound anyway? Is there a deeper meaning to this, or should we just go with it? Is it weird that I'm rooting for a murder mime? Oh, he's so fun. Why am I aroused? Sorry, what? He's here. In the studio. Oh my god, I love the silent type. Do my boobs look okay? I heard it echoing. Why would you say that? Because that's just how we do this every time. Yeah. Because it's consistent. It is consistent. Alright. The horror nerds podcast is. We you know, we are though. We are. We are consistent. We're consistently hot and funny and insightful. Did I mention hot? Spooky hot.

Oh my god, it's happy Friday the 13th! Oh boy, can you come and dress up? What is this? Cash Little Friday the 13th! You guys ready to parking lane? You guys I'm stuck on my own balls. That's what you need. Jason's already getting back at me. Fantastic. Here, do you know all this shit is from my garage, you guys?

Okay.

Fuck it. Is there a lesbian who can fix this? No. That's alright. Okay. Well, fuck it. We're doing great. I'm here to roast Jason Moore. He's and I'm already roasted my fucking self. Okay. You guys are like, haha!

You can laugh.

Fuck, go with it. We're having fun tonight. Are you guys ready to roast this bitch tonight? Alright, so like I said, tonight, this is we are taking down the man, the myth, the mama's bitch himself. You guys ready? Okay, keep in mind, you guys, it is our last show of the year. We are going hard. This is a fucking roast. You guys up for that? Okay, you guys, so let's get right into it. Jason Voorhees, you puck face pussy. There are more holes in your face than there are in the plot of Jason Goes to Hell. I'll work it up. With all that flannel, you look like a lesbian lost in an ice rink. Except the only part of a woman you'll actually be inside is your mother's basement. I would call you a knobgoblin goalie, but nobody wants to touch your stick. At least Norman Bates ran a hotel. You can't even run. You were so slow you got hit by a parked car. You are so slow. You were slower than the plot of hereditary. Do you guys like that movie? Oh, thank you. That movie. Okay. Also, Jason, you are so fucking creepy. The only woman who will ever give you head is your own mother. I like that one. But thank God, like Jason's not a big talker. Because if he was, he would go on and on about here longer than Zelene Neon did in Titanic. He would talk about her until he was blue in the balls. The only movie that Jason Boris masturbates to is Mommy Dearest. And when he comes, he goes, Mama Mia. Who the fuck just groaned? Who was that? Who was that who growed? So it's like, I love ABBA. I love them. It's great. Okay. Seriously, Jason Fortees is so dumb that he watched every episode of How I Met Your Mother because he thought the PG rating my parent gangbang. Jason Forte's is as deep as a puddle in a parking lot. Seriously, his entire motive, you guys, is just to kill teenagers for having sex. It's like, Bonnie, are you an unhinged slasher or untreated syphilis? The only reason Jason Borges isn't gonna die alone is because he can't die. And also, like, Jason, why are you such a little bitch about the water? Seriously. Your mom was like, I heard it all. You know, I can hear you. We are watching a bit. It's fantastic. Okay. I love you. Jason, that's a sympathizer. Okay. Um part of that. Jason Voorhees is so afraid of the water. But the thing is, his mother was like in her 50s and she was single for a long time. She would have killed the get wet. The last time Mrs. Forheese came was when her head came off her neck. You guys, she's a squirter. Even Pennywise the Clown was like, you'll float too! Unless you're Jason Voorhees, then you'll sink with the bottom of the lake faster than the new joker did at the box office. The only movie that actually scares Jason Voorhees is Halloween, H2O. And I'm like, I I love Freddie versus Jason, I do, but I ought to say, like, sorry, dickhead, I'm more of a Halloween person. I love Michael Myers. I'm such- We roasted him in October, which was fantastic. Um, but because I'm such a Michael Myers fan, like, forget Jason Takes Manhattan. I want to see a crossover series with Michael Myers in it called Jason Takes It From Behind. I did love some of his newer movies, though. Um, I I had to like, did you guys see the new blood? The seventh one? It's the one about like the teenager with the psychic abilities. Like, she her mind is so powerful. She literally brought back Jason from the bottom of the lake. And that's pretty impressive, right? I thought about it when I was a teenager. The only thing I brought back was HBB. Some of you didn't laugh. It clears on its own. It's okay. Really though, but the thing is, like, thank God that these movies took place on the 80s because some of those camp councils are so fucking clumsy and they would have tripped over a wireless network. And Jason, buddy, it's not like a lot of your newer movies are that much better either. Like, I don't know what's worse. Jason X or SpaceX? Either way, it's about an asshole in an atmosphere he shouldn't be in. Uh I was wondering though, oh, what if I was wanted to ask Jason Voorhees? Like, do you think that Jason spends so much time in the woods because his family tree is missing so many branches? Like, Jason Voorhees is so inbred, his gene pool needs a lifeguard. At least his dad swimmers made it. Oh no. I was particularly proud of that one. Thank you. Um, really though, you guys, all jokes aside, um, Jason, I am really sorry for what happened uh to your mom. I mean, that must have really fucked with his head, but I'm also pretty sure he fucked her head. You guys, that was a dig in a head jump. Okay.

Fantastic.

We know I feel like we're warming up, we're getting there. I I am probably the nice one on the lineup. I don't know what I'm in these other people are gonna say. But here's what I want, I do want to say um I am uh I do love Jason so much, and I want to give a shout out to the best fucking Jason on the planet, Kane Hotter. So here's the thing about Kane Hotter. You guys, do you know how he signs? He was like, I think Jason had some new blood. He did all the king watch, basically. Um so Kane, do you know how he signs merchandise for people at horror conventions? Freddie's a little bitch. Love Kane. So the first time that I got to meet Kane, a bunch of us went out to lunch, and it was amazing. It was like the best day. We're all to boob at a babbo. Fucking weird, but we're all there. And Kane shows up like 20 minutes late and he sits down, he sits next to me, he's like, hey everybody, sorry, I'm late. My Uber driver got a ticket on the way over here. Then I had what was probably the worst moment of my life because without missing a beat, I said, Oh no. I hope she didn't get in Uber trouble. Kane Hodder looked at me holding a knife and said, Please tell me you're not a comedian. Guys, what in the horror? The rugs of Jason Hurry.

Bless.

This is not a test. This is your emergency broadcast system announcing the conclusion of the Horror Nerds Comedy Podcast, sanctioned by Horror Nerds Productions. All authorized screams, laughter, and unhinged opinions of Class Four have now been safely contained. During this broadcast, all tangents, puns, and unsolicited horror takes were permitted without consequence. Emergency podcast services will resume after this brief transmission. Blessed be our final girls and our horror nerds founders, a podcast reborn. May humor be with you all.