From the Crypt: We Know What You Did Last Summer

I know what you did last summer. I know we were planning a podcast. That's what I did last summer. That's literally what we were doing. We were planning this podcast and then we launched it in October. Yeah.

That is we were literally recording and taking pictures and sweating our dicks off last summer.

We sure as shit were. Oh my gosh. It would have been we should have been in some nice beach town running around not hitting people with our car.

Or, you know, if we're bored and we're looking for a little adventure, I guess we could, but I know, I know. So are you you told me earlier this is one of your favorite Fourth of July movies? This is my favorite Fourth of July movie. Like I know everybody's like Independence Day, and I'm like, yes, Bill Pullman is president. I'm here for it. I love Independence Day. But Fourth of July is or uh um I Know What You Did Last Summer is my favorite Fourth of July movie.

Is it weird that I can't think of any other Fourth of July movies?

Um, well, there's 1776 The Musical, which is a Fourth of July movie, and that's got, you know, uh William Daniels, Mr. Feeney. Feeney! Oh, Mr. Feeney! Yeah. Yeah, no, the only other one I could think of is Independence Day, which was pretty fun. And there's another one that I would argue is a Fourth of July movie, and that is The Patriot with Mel Gibson.

I was just gonna say it's a horror film because Mel Gibson is in it.

The podcast.

But yeah, I don't know. I think I'm just not a summer person in general. So like summer itself is a villain for me. Yeah. Like last summer, so my boyfriend and his family, they do like a big family reunion at Dewey Beach, and it's wonderful and everyone's there, but like they just sit on the beach in the sun for fucking hours, and I want to die because I'm from Southern California. So I'm like, I'm very Winifred Sanderson. I'm like, oh look, another glorious morning. Makes me sick. You know, I don't do the sun. I don't like it. I don't like the I would love to be on a boat, like looking at whales and stuff, even though I get seasick. Um, but I don't want to sit in the sun on the beach. So we did that, and then he took me to a Phillies game where it was all sun and I was struggling so hard. And the funny thing was is I remember having the thought, I need to watch so many horror films to balance this out. Like I need to watch so many dark vampire caves to feel good again. Like I was wearing my little sun pants and my sun hat. I'm like, I look like an asshole. Like, this is not me at all. I feel so, but his family is so wonderful and lovely, and I'm so happy to be there with them. But like physically, I'm like, I'm melting. I'm I'm not a sun baby. I burn and but then I don't know if I ever told you this story. So while I'm sitting in the sun and it's summer and I'm I'm praying for a fisherman in a hook at that point, honestly. I'm like, I I will I will mail myself a letter at this point. Please put me in the trunk. At least it's cool in there. But so right before we left, I was getting to the point where I was thinking about possibly adopting a dog. And um, there was this dog that I was looking at. So Linda Blair has an amazing rescue the world heart foundation, which is incredible, and she helps so many pitties, which is wonderful. And I saw that there was this little maybe a pit something mixed, cute little sweet. Maybe she had some Dalmatian in her. Stephanie was her name. I'm like, she's so cute. I'm interested in this dog. But we happen to find my my cat who was in here earlier, my little baby kitten Figaro. We found her outside of my house. I was watering my lawn. This kitten shows up. So now I have a kitten. So I email uh what I assume is just a volunteer at the rescue, and I say, Hey, I'm interested in Stephanie. Do you know if she's cat friendly? And we email back and forth. I'm assuming I'm talking to a volunteer. And uh, and then I don't hear for, I don't know, maybe like a week or two. And then I go on this trip. I'm sitting at the ball game, praying for a horror film, thinking of like all this dark goth stuff I'm gonna have to do to balance my soul. My phone rings, I look down, I shit you not. It says L Blair. I'm like, no, no way, Linda Blair is calling me out of baseball game. And we wound up having a lovely conversation. She's like, where are you? I'm like, I'm and uh turns out she's from the East Coast, so we wound up like just having this great conversation. Anyway, long story short, um, I really admire the work that she does. And unfortunately, Stephanie wound up not being a fan of the cats, so it didn't it didn't work out. But yes, to anyone who's who's in California, they're considering possibly moving up to Oregon, I believe. But for right now, they're about an outs an hour outside of Los Angeles. So if you're in the area and you want a dog, please head her up. That would be amazing.

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Ooh, the ultimate. The ultimate. Actually, that beach trip, you know I brought a copy of the book and read it on the course. Yeah. Yep. Yeah. Yep. That movie, I love Jaws so much. We all grew up with it. I mean Did you go to Universal Studios as a kid? Oh yeah. Yeah, the Backlot Tour where you still go. I have a still there.

It's great. I go like once a month.

Yeah. It was the best. I mean, you love the Jaws ride. You know, I um I love sharks so much. And I I have this weird relationship with Jaws now as an older person who's aware of how, you know, sharks are treated. Because I I I personally love sharks. Like I've got I've gotten to do the cage diving thing. I've seen them up close and they're magnificent and they all have different personalities, and they're they're just so curious. They weren't attacking the cage. All that rogue shark theory shit is it's bullshit. Uh can we please be nicer to sharks? They're not that bad. Um, but the movie itself is iconic. I mean, it's so good. And here's a tie-in back to Linda actually. Uh and I wrote a bit about it and it's actually working really well. About how I was watching this documentary about The Exorcist. Um, when the book came out, when the book The Exorcist came out, William Peter Blatti, who wrote it, could not sell a copy. No one was going near this book, no one wanted it. But then one day he's sitting at home or sitting in a hotel and he gets a phone call from the Dick Cabot show. And they say, Hey, listen, Robert Shaw, who plays Quint the Hunter, he's supposed to be our guest on the show, but he's in the green room. He got blackout drunk, he can't go on. Can you be here in 15 minutes? Do you want to talk about your new book? So he does. The next week it's number one on the bestseller list, which is amazing. So the joke that I got out of it is that we we literally would not have The Exorcist without Jaws and Alcoholism.

That's so good. I know, but you kind of wonder like, was Robert was he that actual character?

You know?

Yeah, I think his son is doing a play right now, actually. I just saw an ad for it. His son is doing a play about him or about the characters somewhere. I saw it in passing, but he looks like him. Yeah, it looked really interesting. I think it was uh related, unrelated, but last Halloween, one of my friends dressed up as him and dressed up their dog as a shark.

Yeah. Is it a little dog? Tell me it was a little dog.

Yeah, a little uh Australian shepherd with like the fins and the cans. I was dying. It was the cutest thing.

It's the cutest. I'm getting a dog today just to do that. You should. Yeah. I don't know if my cats will wear the little flotation things. No, your cat will make you wear the flotation things. Completely. But then that would be pause. See what I did there. Wah wah. Why isn't that a thing? Oh, I'm sure I've seen a shirt with like a cat in the water or a cat coming up to attack something.

Um I have seen a shirt with a Roddy's face, because that looks like my dog, and it says jowls, and it's him, it's like the dog looking up at a cheeseburger.

Cutie! You know what? Okay, speaking of Roddy's, Roddy's are some of the cutest, most lovely, sweet dogs. I love Roddy's so much. My neighbor has two of them, and I'm obsessed with them. And their little butts wiggle, and I fucking love them. They're so sweet. I've always wanted a Roddy. Love of my life dog was a Doberman. So kind of like a sleeker version of a Roddy. But anyway, it reminds me of this movie. Did you ever see the movie Man's Best Friend? Oh my god. Allie Sheedy a long time ago. Yeah, I was obsessed with that movie. I don't know why. It always made me so sad about the dog. But it was, I think it was like a straight up Cujo kind of a ripoff situation. But I love that movie so much. And it was a Roddy, wasn't it? I think it was a lot of things. I think so.

Yeah.

I think so. They're just, they're so good. And you look at their little faces, and my boy looks like he looks like a Roddy, you can tell, but he has a lot of German Shepherd features because he sheds like one. Like, oh my god. Yeah. Yeah. A lot of that. But just they're so good. And they're little, they're little tails and their little butts, and he's got like a little nub, and it just like it's I can't.

I love the nub. You love the nub.

Yeah. I went to get him from his date from his uh groomer's appointment once, and I was like, hey, I'm here to pick up, you know, here to pick him up. And they said, Okay, let's let me go get him. And I hear them like go and close the door, and then I hear this voice that just goes, Marcel, your mom is here, and then oh my god, look at that little nub! It was really cute.

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And he's out in he's that's my boy. He's out in North Carolina with his dad, about an hour or two away from Wilmington, which is where they filmed I Know What You Did Last Summer, was out in that area. Back be Yeah. I used to go out there all the time because a friend of mine who did my hair out there moved to Wilmington, and I was like, oh no, I have to take an afternoon off and go to the beach and go see where they filmed I Know What You Did Last Summer and the Super Mario Brothers movie and a Iron Man 3 and a bunch of other stuff before everything shut down out there. The year I moved, all the filming shut down in Wilmington and it moved to Atlanta. And I said, Are you kidding me? I was with some bullshit timing, but yeah, it was very cool to be out there and like amazing seafood and uh really good stuff. No fishermen though that I saw that were like trying to kill me, which I was a little offended, you know. Helen Shivers, that's my girl.

And you're not gonna see Ben, right? His name is Ben. You're not gonna see Ben at first, right? He has gotta he's gotta flirt a little bit with the letters and the bodies and the trunk and the haircut, you know.

If I was there for more than an afternoon, maybe, but I guess.

Yeah, I actually quite like the second one. I still know what you did last summer. Um, I mean, I grew up like obsessed with Brandy. I I loved that her first album. I listened to it like on a loop. It was so good. Um, so that was fun. And it was, you know, it was like, weren't they all like on an island resort kind of a thing? Yeah, that was a fun twist.

And Jennifer Love Hewitt singing I will survive at karaoke, and then like the the words come up on the screen. Yeah.

Yeah, it was pretty good, I gotta say. But I guess the big question is did you watch the Amazon series? It was an Amazon Prime series, wasn't it? I didn't watch it. I didn't watch the Scream series either, to be fair. I liked the Scream series. I will say I enjoyed the Scream series. It was fine. I mean, it's obviously not the movie, but I enjoyed it. I thought it was fun. Um, the Amazon one, you know, I think I started watching it and then I wasn't blown away and I didn't quite finish. Maybe I'll have to give it another shot. But it was just what was it its own version of it? Was it a reboot? I'm not sure exactly what it was.

I don't know. Yeah. I don't think it was clear enough to me. And I just said, I'm good. Like I love the first two. I'm good. I'm excited about the new one. Yeah, because Freddie Prince is back and Sarah Michelle is back, right? Oh no, she's still dead. She died, she did. I mean, Jennifer, Jennifer, love you. It's hard. I wish. And she's even said, like, no, I'm very much dead. I'm not coming back. But she was posting set pictures and got in trouble for it. She's like, I wasn't even my NDA, and I got in trouble. Like, don't post pictures from the set unless you're given it permission to do it. I thought that was funny. I was like, she's been acting since she was four and made like a boo-boo. I'm like, you could, you know, it's just funny. I wish she was back for the new one. They show her picture in it, and one of my friends was like, Sarah Michelle Gellers, she's they showed a picture of her in the trailer, and I'm like, my guy, I know. I beat you to it. Like, I know. I know.

Well, you would think posted, like, that's still publicity for them, you know, even though it was a whoopsie. That that I don't know. I don't think it's such a bad thing.

I don't think it hurt the situation.

Yeah, unless like in the caption, she was like, Here's what happens at the end, then maybe that's bad.

But I don't think she's not maybe it was her agent or somebody was like, Yo, what are you doing? You're not even in it. Your your man is, but maybe that was the giveaway that he wasn't they didn't announce that he was gonna be in it, so that was the spoiler. That might have been it. Well, I wanna see it. Do you think they're still gonna be together?

May have seen a little bit of like a teaser or a trailer, and I don't know about that. Hmm. It didn't look promising from what I saw, but I don't know.

Yeah. I hope they are. But if they're not, maybe they get together again at the end of the new one.

There's always a redemption story that's fun. But but that kind of makes sense because has there been other horror films where like a couple, you know, they have the trauma bond they're together, and then they have to go and actually deal with their PTSD and then they break up and then they have to come back together to face the killer again? I feel like we've seen that plot before, haven't we?

I feel like we have, but why is my mind drawing a blank on what it would be? Well, maybe that's our movie that we're gonna write. I love that. Yeah. Can it be good for her too? Completely amazing. Ring ring ring.

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Well shit. On that note, let's talk about those movies.

I know what you did last summer. Completely be a good for her. I'm seeing that new shark movie tonight. Fun. Uh have you heard of it? It's called Dangerous Animals. So shark movies, that's a big summer event, right? There's what was the one with Blake Lively? That one was pretty decent. I forgot that. Was that the one where she loses her arm? No, that was real life. That was a surfer. That was this poor sweet girl. Her name was like Beth, Bethany something. Okay, that wasn't it then. I don't remember. Yeah, no, I have to look it up. We need one of those, we need like one of those male sidekicks on a computer while we're talking, like, hey, hey, man in the chair. Hey, hey, man in the chair. We need you to look up the Blake Lively Shark movie. I'm really excited about that film.

So that's kind of like the man or bear, right? Yeah. Okay. But killer or shark. Put me in with the sharks.

What's up, guys? We're on a boat, huh?

Yeah. You might be wondering why are two comedians and a puppet on a shark tagging boat? Well, we are raising money for the C S U L B Shark Lab at our shark-themed comedy show at the Hollywood Improv on July 31st. So we had the opportunity to go out with the researchers on the water. We're not even there yet! Barry got a little seasick.

So we're gonna launch this drone. We're gonna fly around here and we're gonna look for sharks that are swimming near the surface so we can try and get some catch up too.

Like James said, we sent up a drone to look out for some white sharks. So we hunkered down and waited.

They found a shark.

What is it? A shark.

So I think that's going to absolutely.

Alright, so we'll go find them.

Much like you'll lady a little out of the side. Needless to say, we were having a great time. We're just waiting for an eight to nine-foot white shark to surface. And lo and behold, there is our fin. We hopped in the whaler and we're getting ready to tag that shark. It was absolutely incredible, and there is that shark. Oh my god. That shark was being a little elusive, so we found another one. We were able to put in the dip cam and sex the shark. The next step was actually tagging it, which is much harder than it looks. We were just a little too far away from the shark here. After this, it was time for Barry and I to head out, but Sam stayed on the water and has a message. Sam, what should people come to at the end of July? After we left, of course, they did actually get to tag a shark. What the hell? Come to the Hollywood Improv on July 31st.

We're gonna be raising money for sharks. Yay! It looks, yeah, right? Like who you want to take your chances with? Because that serial killer, I don't know. I'm pretty sure he's not gonna let you live. Anyway, it was just exciting to see. Okay, this is a different take rather than shark stalks swimmer. Okay, we've seen it. You know, that was what was cool about Jaws was it it it had so much more story. To it. Um, you know, and then back to Jaws 4, because it's funny, which you please tell me you've seen Jaws the Revenge. The fucking tiger roar when he jumps out of the water is still one of the funniest things I've ever seen. Michael Cain, that that just shows you can if you pay him enough, he'll do it. Um on our show. Come on our show. How much can we pay him? But yeah, that that is absurd to be like Jaws' grandson is back to take revenge on Chief Brody's wife. What?

Are you serious?

I mean, that's kind of the premise of not the new Star Wars movies, but like, you know, Darth Vader's grandson is like, I'm gonna finish what you started. It's Kylo Ren, and you're like, that's kinda people hold grudges. Not sharks. Sharks do. So silly. You just I learned some new fun facts about you tonight. I didn't know you love sharks so much. And it's like, I've known you for years. Oh, that's fun. I didn't know that.

Yeah, no, I love sharks so very much. That was really really one of the most incredible experiences of my life was doing the we went to Guadalupe Island, which is you if you watch Shark Week on Discovery Channel, you've seen Guadalupe Island. Pretty amazing. The only downside was so you live on the boat for five days. It's a full you go out of San Diego, full day by boat to get there, and then you're on the water for three days diving, and then full day to get back. So five days. Well, I didn't know how incredibly painful my seasickness would be. I wanted to die, honestly. It was it was a horror film. The seasickness, I tried everything, none of it worked. But when you were down in the water and there was a 12-foot shark in your face, it doesn't matter. Like you forget that you are sick. But there were a lot of times when I wanted to get in the water just to be in the cold and just to shock my body into not wanting to vomit. But the funny part was uh the captain was like, you know, I think you're the only person that's ever come on this trip and actually lost weight. Because they have a personal chef and amazing food. It was great. I threw up all of it. But part of me was like, Well, I might as well eat whatever I want. It's gonna be shark food anyway. So give me the cookies.

Shit. And on that note, let's go to Universal Studios, go see our boy, go see our boy Bruce, and uh yeah, let us know what you did last summer in the comments. That's me trying to find an outro. Come with us to the premiere of the new I Know What You Did Last Summer. So come on. What are you waiting for, huh?

Hey Bonnie. Hey Samantha. I know what you did last four minutes ago.

I don't know. I think this movie's gonna be really good. I'm already up to do it. Yep, this is why you're the writer. Well, Bonnie, where are we? What are we doing right now?

We're at the premiere of the new I Know What You Did last summer, and uh, I know what we were doing last summer, preparing for our uh release of the Horror Nerd Comedy Podcast, and now we're here and we have an episode coming out. This is in the episode. It is in the episode, it is in the episode.

I'm worried seriously when it comes to recording podcasts.

Yes, it does. Nothing makes sense, and everything is scary.

Like this movie, so I think it will be. I think so. Yeah, I think so. But like, you know what you mean to do like, yeah, the other day. We're lying. I wasn't last summer. Six months. Um last summer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That makes sense. Yeah. I'm really excited for this movie. Uh it's we got some new characters, we've got some heroes, some classics returning. I don't know. Final girl. Final girl. And if you aren't gonna see this movie, what are you waiting for?

Ah!

Spins in the street.

Ah You know, I could really use like a killer with a hook to give me a really good haircut. That would be great.

Killer cut. New business ideas? Let's go.

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